The Steelers’ recent woes can be attributed to many different facets of the NFL puzzle: game planning, personnel, injuries, astrological compatibility of players and coaches, mental acuity of sports writers, meteorological inconsistencies; the list goes on. The slightest change in any one of these “X-factors” can seemingly predetermine the potential outcome of any game or season. I’d like to propose a new fundamental method for undertaking one of these aspects: the draft.
The NFL draft is now a highly publicized and anticipated event in which the fans can become, should they so desire, utterly saturated with statistical information pertaining to the myriad of players available. The football clubs themselves have highly analytical systems that are used to study and rate players according to the players’ skill set in which a quantification is established that assigns a numerical value to each player available. While the science related to this varies, most NFL teams have established a similar method related to the draft.
In my infinite wisdom and insight, I have developed a different strategy to drafting players, one in which, to the best of my knowledge, has currently gone untapped. I have even assigned a moniker to this method. I call it “Rotating Stock.”
The foundation of this theory lies in one key statistic: The average career length of an NFL player is over six years. I know this because Roger Goodell said so, and we know he would never lie. “Trust in Rog” I always say. He will do whatever is best for the game. We all love him, like, more than a friend. I digress (and utilize sarcasm liberally).
When the stock boy at Giant Eagle stocks the milk cartons, he places the ones with the most distant expiry all the way in the back to facilitate the sales of the milk cartons that expired two days ago. This is referred to in the biz as “rotating stock.” The fact that we all grab from the back first to procure a gallon that won’t expire for a decade is a moot point. How does the milk at your local over-priced food center relate to the over-priced players at your local football stadium? The expiration date.
Taking this into consideration, my method of drafting involves a six-year cycle, and uses four of the available seven draft picks allotted to each team every year. Each year of the cycle, the team that utilizes my gloriously genius method will use four picks to grab players of a certain group of positions, and the other three picks to obtain position need players. The cycle goes as follows:
Year 1: QB’s and running backs.
Year 2: Defensive linemen and linebackers
Year 3: Wide receivers and tight ends
Year 4: Defensive backs and safeties.
Year 5: Offensive linemen
Year 6: Special teams. This last year helps to add depth to the roster as a whole.
By the time the seventh year rolls around, the offensive backfield players that were drafted in year one are ready to retire or be sold off. The ones that aren’t ready to be put out to pasture are still around to train and coach the new draftees in a team’s playbook and methodology. The same applies to each respective year of the cycle.
So there you have it. Pick it apart, expert fanatics. Let me hear your thoughts. Call me an idiot. Or herald my eternal wisdom. If you are personal friends with the Rooneys, Kevin Colbert, or Mike Tomlin, forward this to them. Considering the Steelers lackluster draft performance as of late, it can’t hurt.
