In Saturday night’s game, the Pittsburgh Penguins scored three goals in 55 seconds to take a 3-2 lead over the Philadelphia Flyers. The Penguins went on to win, 5-4.
Just so you have a sense of how fast 55 seconds is, here are 20 other things that take about that long.
1. Thinking of an Instagram caption
Everyone knows your Instagram caption has to be incredibly clever and punny — and that’s not always easy to do. You probably have to text at least two other friends to get approval on the caption before posting it, too.
2. Watching an episode of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”
You’re channel-surfing in the middle of the day, and you decide to try an episode of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” Fifty-five seconds later, you can’t take any more and have to change the channel.
3. Watching James Harrison run another interception back 100 yards
Sure, Harrison may have done it in less than 20 seconds in the 2009 Super Bowl, but it’s almost six years later, and he’s 38 years old. These days, it’s probably take him about 55 seconds — and some truly spectacular blocking.
4. Singing half the national anthem
If you sing the national anthem at the (slow) pace that is usually used at sporting events, you can get through about half the anthem in 55 seconds. Of course, all bets are off if Alicia Keys or Lady Gaga gets a hold of the song. Then you’d hit 55 seconds after the first couple of lines!
5. Making a runny version of a one-minute egg
I mean, eggs are better when they’re a little runny. Who really needs a whole minute anyway?
6. Trying to process exactly what Phil Simms just said
NFL analyst Phil Simms is notorious for speaking in circles, and it occasionally sounds like he’s speaking his own twisted language. It takes a little bit to figure out what the heck he just said. (You might have to ask your friends — or consult your handy-dandy Phil Simms Dictionary.)
7. Eating a single buffalo wing
Sure, it doesn’t exactly take 55 seconds to eat a single wing, but by the time you’ve eaten it, licked your fingers clean and wiped all the blue cheese sauce off your shirt, 55 seconds has completely flown by.
8. Taking the perfect selfie
If you’re over the age of 35, you probably have no idea how hard it is to take a selfie. The first three automatically get thrown out, then your lips aren’t pursed enough in the next one, then your eyes aren’t wide enough in the one after that, then you need to move two and a quarter steps to the left to be backlit perfectly, etc. It’s a process.
9. Considering moving off the couch after a Game of Thrones episode
After an especially intense Game of Thrones episode — Battle of the Bastards or the season 6 finale, anyone? — it takes about 55 seconds to process what the heck just happened and decide to get up off the couch.
10. Watching Jonathan Papelbon pitch a single ball
Have you ever tried to get through a game when Jonathan Papelbon or Clay Buchholz is on the mound? It’s torture. The games drag on forever — 55 second increments at a time.
11. Waiting for a 30-second timeout to end
Let’s be real, when they say “30-second timeout,” it’s never actually 30 seconds.
12. Usain Bolt running a half mile at his top speed
Usain Bolt can run 100 meters at 9.58 seconds, from a standing start, so assuming he could sustain top speed, a half mile would be no problem.
13. Putting on a sports bra after being wet
If you’re a guy, count your blessings that you’ve never had to experience this (awful) sensation. The sports bra sticks to your skin and you can’t move it into place and it’s so incredibly frustrating. It might be an understatement to say this only takes 55 seconds.
14. Finding the remote at the start of the third period
With all the time I’ve lost searching for my remote, I could probably have written a novel longer than Leo Tolstoy’s “War and Peace.”
15. Deciding which chips to get at the grocery store
You’re having friends over later to watch the game, and it’s decision-time. Do you go with the tortilla chips? The Lay’s? Which flavor Lay’s? Ooh, and what about salsa? Dip? Aah, too many decisions!
16. Chugging an ice-cold beer
If it’s been awhile since you last chugged a beer, 55 seconds is probably about the bottom of the clock for you. If you’re a college student (or a former frat/srat star), you can probably chug two.
17. Trying to figure out how to correctly spell Olli Määttä’s name
At first, his name seems super easy. But then you remember he’s from Finland, and they put all kinds of accents on random letters, so you try to figure out which letters require accents before remembering it’s only the As. It just looks so much more complicated than that.
18. Telling your favorite West Virginia and Cleveland jokes
Here are two my dad likes to tell:
Jedediah was walking down the street in a town in West Virginia wearing one shoe. A friend yelled, “Hey, Jedediah, lose a shoe?” Jedidiah yelled back, “Nope, found one!”
Or,
Q: What’s the difference between Cleveland and yogurt.
A: Yogurt has an active culture.
Ba dum tss.
19. Praying that your team is going to walk away with a win
“Dear God, I don’t know if you’re a sports fan or not, but, uh, I really hope you are because, well, [insert team here] could really use some divine intervention from you, and I don’t know if you’re listening to me or not because I’m sure you’ve got a lot more important things going on like world peace and whatnot, but, uh, you know, I really hope you are listening to me right now, because we’re playing Philly and, honestly, f*&! Philly — oh, wait, you’re probably not supposed to curse when you’re praying, but honestly, it’s Philly, and Philly is basically the equivalent of Hell on Earth, so I hope you can see why we have to beat Philly, so my team could really use your help right now. Ok, thanks, God. Amen. Did I do that right?”
20. Destroying any argument that there’s a better sports city than Pittsburgh
Actually, this probably won’t take much longer than 10 seconds. Just say: “Six Super Bowls, four Stanley Cups and five World Series” and watch someone sputter while trying to come up with a response.
Image credit: Eric Hartline/USA TODAY Sports
